Overwhelmed

I just got back from the doctor. Another ultrasound. This time the baby wouldn't turn its head at all, we only saw hair. Disappointing. Then the doctor came in. The baby is small. It should be measuring around 4 1/2 to 5 pounds. Its only 3 1/2. No biggie, Brinley was small too. 5lb 13oz full term. The doctor said that since the baby is so small on top of the cleft there is going to have to be more tests. Great. They have to monitor the placenta to make sure it is fully functional. They also have to monitor the heart rate to make sure that it elevates to where it needs to be when the baby is active and that it goes back down when the baby is resting. Ok. So I go to the next room where they strap on the monitors. I have to do this twice a week, every week. The doctor comes back in. "I would like to give you a steroid to insure the baby's lungs will be developed in case we need to take the baby early." Say what? What do you mean if you have to take the baby early? I guess if the numbers of the placenta aren't where they should be, they will induce me early so the baby can get the proper nutrients that the placenta may not be producing. "Don't worry" she says "This is just standard, I am sure the baby is just small because you are small, it's all just precaution" Great, now I feel much better. Another 15 minutes goes by, in walks the doctor. "The monitor shows you have been contracting regularly every 3 minutes. I am going to send you to labor and delivery" Excuse me? I am not in any pain here and am definitely not in labor. Again, its precaution. So labor and delivery, here I come. I get changed into the attractive hospital gown and sit on the bed. All that is going through my head is, "wasn't this supposed to be a routine ultrasound? This is a mistake." In walks the nurse, who announces she is going to check if I'm dilated. Great. "Your at a one" Sweet. An hour goes by with me still contracting every 3 minutes. Checked again, still at a one. Finally, I can go home. Nope, not yet, I have to get the steroid shot. Right in the hip. Ouch. K, now I'm done. But not before learning I have to come back in the morning to get the second steroid shot. Fantastic. Now I am home. Feeling very overwhelmed. A lot of emotions. This is all very frustrating. I know this is very minor in comparison with what so many other parents go through with worse complications. But they are all setbacks. Expensive setbacks. The baby is still healthy and very very active of which I am grateful. Your prayers are very much appreciated in this long process. Like I said, I am grateful for all of the positive things

just overwhelmed by the hard ones.